🦍🍕
THE ROCK OF
CaptivateIQ presents
THE ROCK OF
BOEKELHEIDE
Director, Engineering. Neo cosplayer. Node.js hater. Enterprise pickle wrangler. Gorilla-and-pizza enthusiast. Haiku code reviewer. The Answer.
Director of Engineering
Nov 2020 - Apr 2026
The One
Santa Boekelheide
#directorgoals
Liar Detector
Stone Age Debugger
⚠️ FINAL COUNTDOWN ⚠️
Time remaining until Peter escapes the simulation
--Days
--Hours
--Minutes
--Seconds
🎰 THE PETER QUOTE MACHINE 🎰
Spin the wheel of Peter's greatest hits
Press the button to receive wisdom...
📜 THE SACRED SCROLLS OF PETER LORE 📜
🤖 PETER vs. CAPPY: CONFLICT SIMULATOR 🤖
Watch Peter try to weaponize the company AI bot. Watch the bot refuse.
Peter Boekelheide
[ awaiting conflict... ]
❓ THE "WHO?" PROTOCOL ❓
Peter's signature move for every farewell and anniversary
Press the button to activate the protocol...
🎋 THE HAIKU DIFF REVIEWER 🎋
"the diff is tiny. i can describe it to you in haiku form." —Peter, 2023
Press the button for a code review haiku...
💬 THE COLLEAGUES SPEAK 💬
"Peter may or may not have been the smartest manager I've worked for but he's definitely the most fun. I knew I wanted to work for him once he showed up to host his first holiday party as Neo."
"After more than 5 years of incredible leadership and impact at CaptivateIQ, Peter has made an almost immeasurable impact on CIQ. He has consistently modeled strong ownership, mentorship, and recognition across the org."
"I'll miss you all. except for Peter Boekelheide"
"happy birthday peter"
"Peter looks sharp. I'd love to work with a director like the one on the picture"
"happy birthday peter — WAIT NO"
"Give it to Peter I hear he is bored with nothing to do"